I stood there in the Nike shop staring at socks this morning until the sales assistant asked if I needed help. Maybe the kind of help a mental institution is good at?

Its all over. A 4km tempo run finished my Comrades Marathon training this morning. I ran it faster than race pace on purpose, just to feel like I did something, but no, it still felt like a let down. Its all the more depressing knowing that I’ll break myself so badly I won’t be able to run like this for close to three months after the race.

The guys at work ask ‘are you feeling nervous now you know what to expect?’ – yes and no… Is it possible to feel numb and terrified at the same time? Quite frankly after staring the beast in the eye for the first time last year, going back there again is insanity. As a novice the last 30km is a big blank, you’ve heard the war stories, but you say ‘lets see what happens when we get there’, I’ve been there and I can tell you its not pleasant. OMFG. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale.

Running notes
Route: My house up through De Waal Park, down Government Avenue and back home.
Time started: 7:30
Total time: 20 minutes
Total distance: 4.5km
Weather conditions: Cool
Temperature: 15˚
Runner’s condition: Shitting herself

Last hill session. I’ll miss you Bellevue Street. Not.

Running notes
Route: 1km hill repeats at 30% x 3 up Bellevue Street
Time started: 6:30am
Total time: 40 mins
Total distance: 6km
Temperature: 13˚
Runner’s condition: Good

Fact. Anyway too late now. I’ve rested more since Oceans than I did last year, so I’m feeling ready, but I’m feeling less fit. Going from 90-100km a week to less than 30km means that I’m naturally picking up weight, which means I feel heavier when I start a run, and they feel harder to do. This is the time when its easy to go and do something stupid like not stick to the plan. Just do an extra run here or there, make yourself feel a bit better, push a bit harder and then #¢%* up the race. Focus, focus, focus.

Running notes
Route: Kloof Nek car park to the end of Signal Hill and back
Time started: 9:30
Total time: 45 minutes
Total distance: 7km
Weather conditions: Cool and sunny
Temperature: 16˚
Runner’s condition: Fine

So with less than two weeks to go I’m finding this all a bit overwhelming. I was waiting for this to happen, it happened last year and bang on cue it happened again. The volume of emails I got this morning from fellow Comrades runners – ‘so what are you planning to eat on Saturday night?’, the official Comrades newsletter with its well meaning ‘last tips and the dos and don’ts’, meant by lunch I could hardly breathe. As your heart rate begins to climb its hard to not panic.

Tonight I was glad to see that it wasn’t just me on edge. Steve had managed to leave work and buy a brand new pair of trainers before getting to the club run at 6pm. His old shoes are fine, he is just worried that they might be just, well, too old. He ran with one new shoe and one old shoe as a test and then worried that he has unbalanced both pairs of shoes as one shoe from each pair had more mileage than the other. This coming from the man that put his shoes in the wash the night before leaving for Durban last year. See what I mean? This race messes with your head.

Running notes
Route: Lower Cable Station to the turn at the end of the tarmac on Tafelberg Road and back
Time started: 6pm
Total time: 55 minutes
Total distance: 1okm
Weather conditions: Cool
Temperature: 15˚
Runner’s condition: Fine

Its now hard to make yourself stop thinking, ‘this time in two weeks..’ OMG.

Running notes
Route: Camps Bay to Oudekraal and back
Time started: 7am
Total time: 1 hour
Total distance: 11km
Weather conditions: Cool
Temperature: 14˚
Runner’s condition: Fine

Only one more to go next week

Running notes
Route: 1km hill repeats at 30% x 3 up Bellevue Street
Time started: 6:30am
Total time: 40 mins
Total distance: 6km
Temperature: 14˚
Runner’s condition: Good

10km mostly in the dark.

Running notes
Route: Lower Cable Station to the turn at the end of the tarmac on Tafelberg Road and back
Time started: 10:30
Total time: 55 minutes
Total distance: 1okm
Weather conditions: Cool
Temperature: 11˚
Runner’s condition: Fine

Tapering. Sounds great, in practice very difficult to break the routine.

Only 10km, felt like I was back before I’d even left.

Running notes
Route: Sand Bar Camps Bay to a km past The Twelve Apostles
Time started: 7am
Total time: 1 hour
Total distance: 10km
Weather conditions: Windy
Runner’s condition: Good

Legs are back to normal this morning.

Running notes
Route: My house to Keizersgracht Street for a 30 mins fartlek session and back
Time started: 7:30am
Total time: 30 mins
Total distance: 5km
Weather conditions: Fine
Runner’s condition: Fine

Tough on the hills this morning. Can still feel Oceans in the pins.

Running notes
Route: 1km hill repeats at 30% x 4 up Bellevue Street
Time started: 6:30am
Total time: 55 mins
Total distance: 8km
Temperature: 18˚
Runner’s condition: Tired

After last week’s public holiday where nobody showed up, I decided that today I wasn’t going to wait until tonight to run. Went out this morning.

Running notes
Route: Lower Cable Station to the turn at the end of the tarmac on Tafelberg Road and back
Time started: 10:30
Total time: 55 minutes
Total distance: 1okm
Weather conditions: Cool
Temperature: 16˚
Runner’s condition: Fine

Signal Hill and a bit down the side towards Camps Bay

Running notes
Route: Signal Hill out and back and a bit down The Glen and back up to the car
Time started: 9:30
Total time: 1:05 minutes
Total distance: 1okm
Weather conditions: Cool
Temperature: 20˚
Runner’s condition: Fine

Thought I was back to normal, not quite otherwise 12km wouldn’t have felt like 30km.

Running notes
Route: Sand Bar Camps Bay to a km past The Twelve Apostles
Time started: 7am
Total time: 1:10 hours
Total distance: 12km
Weather conditions: Sunny
Runner’s condition: Good